Friday, December 08, 2006

Playing is one thing.... what ifing is another

There is nothing worse than the critic in your head asking you what where you trying to do with that piece of nothing you produced.

The defensive side of me answered. "I wasn't trying to say anything. I was just playing around with tissue paper, some glue, and some gel medium."

The landscape was a cop-out, the green and black thing wasn't.
The landscape was too close to what I've done before. It was a safe composition. I've used those colors before too. SAFE. You can't go wrong design-wise if you remember the principles of doing landscapes and follow them.

Now the black and green thing was totally different. Abstract, no connection to anything other than; let me see what torn pieces of tissue, gel medium and cloth can produce.

While I wasn't happy with the results, it was the better of the three previous ones I tried to do. There was some structure there. So it got its picture taken and lived on the wall until yesterday.

WHAT IF you quilted it? So I did.
"That didn't help much." the critic said, "after all you pretty much quilted it as you would any other piece you have made. You didn't venture into using thicker threads or metallics or anything DARING."
No I didn't I just fumed a lot. Said a few #*$(% and )(*$&^% & @&&&&&^% out loud. Good thing no one was home but me. I broke four needles in the process of quilting the *&&^^%$ 21 by 25 inch piece.
"The quilting could be closer"
"I don't think so.... I will NOT break another needle on this piece of I don't know what."
"OKAY, OKAY. DON'T GET UPSET, I UNDERSTAND. WHAT IF you added some paint? WHAT IF you added some more shapes?"
"To what purpose?"
"NONE, we are just what ifing here."
"Duh!!!!"
"Right, we are WHAT IFING!" So I got out some paint and a couple of brushs. I added curved lines,FUN and I added blobs that looked sort of like little squares, FUN.I added squiggles, MORE FUN! I added a dash of silver mettalic paint. A little here, a little there FUN, FUN, FUN.

"IT STILL DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING." the critc said

The black and green think that now has red and white and some dashes of silver destiny is unclear. Finished it and hit it in the closet or give it a quick burial in the trash can

"What are you trying say."

.



My little voice of understanding said to me over a cup of tea this morning.

"Every thing you make doesn't have to be a masterpiece, it doesn't even have to be good, but on the road of what ifing you might find the path that lead toward making something good and maybe, just maybe a little further along the trail you may find your way to your masterpiece.

Maybe I should have a cup of tea in the mornings instead of coffee from now on.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

everything you touch radiates unique-ness and true creativity. it's something that you and my dad had in common. long story how I found this site. but its very cool seeing all of the wonderful pieces you have created. i am lucky to have an aunt like you. share your gift with the world. love, russ. - chapel hill, nc.

Karoda said...

I love how you share your internal dialogue.